KFC to transition to vegan menu

Today the New Zealand branch of Kentucky Fried Chicken announced that they will be transitioning to a new all-vegan menu, in the biggest shake-up since film director James Cameron bought the restaurant chain three years ago.

It is believed that Mr Cameron never particularly sought to own a fast food chain, but his Avatar movie franchise ended up buying KFC New Zealand to resolve a 3-year battle over a series of figurines the restaurant chain planned to distribute with its variety buckets. KFC’s toy division were intent on making the figurines three-dimensional, because Avatar was a 3D movie. However, James Cameron had a much greater sense of connection to the characters he had created, and was insistent that the figurines should be two-dimensional, because the characters they represent are two-dimensional characters.

Colonel Sanders’s grandson, US presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, said the KFC restaurant chain had been owned by many different companies, but this was the first time they had been owned by a movie franchise.

Berhampore restaurant critic Florian Brown said he was against the proposed changes, on the grounds of authenticity. “Kentucky Fried Chicken is probably the most authentic ethnic restaurant chain in New Zealand – the combination of deep-fried chicken, shoestring fries and flavoured mashed potato really is what the working class eat in Kentucky. Sure, with the addition of flavour enhancer 621 the new vegan KFC will probably be just as yummy, but it’s not as authentic. A vegan KFC won’t speak to the diner about the traditional cuisine of salt-of the earth Kentuckians, and won’t have the minor variations in the shape of chicken body parts that speak to the individuality of the chicken you’re eating.”

Mr Cameron said that he intends to keep the eleven secret herbs, spices and flavour enhancers that make KFC unique, but will slowly phase out the use of ingredients such as chicken, replacing them with textured vegetable protein hot wings, zinger burgers made with deep-fried tofu patties, potato in lentil gravy, and a double-down burger consisting of two gluten-free seitan steaks around a slab of hydrogenated palm oil.

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