New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern addressed the nation today about the decline in daylight New Zealand has been experiencing over the previous few months. She said “As many of you will notice, our attempts to stem the dwindling of the daylight over the last few months have been completely unsuccessful, and so we have decided that as at 3AM tomorrow morning we will officially put on hold our attempts to save the daylight. We envisage that the decline in daylight is unstoppable, and is likely to continue for several months, but will hopefully flatten out of its own accord sometime in June
“As part of this decision, the passage of time will shut down at 3AM on the 5th of April 2020, and start again one hour later, at 3AM on the 5th of April 2020. Or perhaps the passage of time will continue forward for an hour from 3AM, and go in a weird sort of loop, getting back to 3AM at the end of the hour. Nobody seems altogether sure. If dropping this hour causes you to feel confused about what time it is tomorrow morning, don’t treat it as too big a deal, because frankly everyone has been feeling a bit like that lately”
The head of the Otago Medical School’s Department of Aging and Dying Studies said yesterday that he expected that no discernible level of aging would happen during the hour “To be honest, you won’t be appreciably older at 3AM than you were at 3AM. However, I regret to tell you that if you die during that hour you do die in real life, and we strongly request that you should not do this because we have no idea what time of death to record on the death certificate.
Some concerns have been expressed that fiddling around with the fabric of spacetime is potentially dangerous, especially at a time like this when the fabric of spacetime is already a bit fragile due to all the 5G around. After all, the fabric of spacetime used to be held together by the days of the week, and many people have observed that the the normally-clockwork progression from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday seems not to have occurred for an unspecified length of time.
Canterbury University Physics Professor Percival Brown sought to allay people’s fears about the adjustment in a pre-recorded interview. “I can assure all your listeners at home that this sort of minor adjustment to the fabric of spacetime is a very safe procedure. We have learned from the mistakes of the 1930s when they would stop the passage of time altogether, with the intention of starting it again one hour later, only to find that one hour later never came. We have much more sophisticated ways of adjusting the passage of time now, and there is no reason why such minor surgery on the fabric of spacetime should still cause problems in 1958”